I’m 66 days away from being 25 years old.

66 days.

But who’s counting?  Oh yeah, that’s me.  I’m counting.

I never thought that turning 25 was that big of a deal.  When people around me were turning 25 I thought it was completely silly that they were acting so dramatic over it.  All I could think about was how their car insurance would probably go down. Turning 25 was going to happen whether I liked it or not, so why get all emotional about it?

Yet here we are…66 days away from the big two five and I am knee deep in a quarter life crisis.

If you follow me on Instagram you have probably seen some stories and some posts about how I’ve been a little lost over the last few weeks.  I felt like I lost my identity in motherhood and it was bleeding into all areas of my life.  It was causing some deep dissatisfaction with where I’m at in life today.

And that was a problem.  So I decided that I needs to stop coordinating a daily pity party and make some changes.  Here is what I did:

I took a step back and reviewed my life so far.  What have I accomplished over the last 24 years of my life?  I’ll spare you all the details (because I included things like “learned how to walk” in my list.) but I will share the highlights:

1. I graduated from high school.
2. I recovered from a really extreme injury that I was told I wouldn’t ever fully recover from.
3. I have served in the Army Reserve for nearly 6 years.
4. I have numerous accomplishments tied to my current job
5. I paid off an auto loan (this is huge for me.  I hate debt.)
6. I gave birth to a child & I survived the last year and a half with a baby in my house full time.

And that’s not even the last 24 years that’s only the last 8!

After I wrote my list I just sat there at looked at it for a bit.  I really needed all of my accomplishments to sink in.  Once I was done with that I wrote a new list.  I wrote a list of all the things that I feel I am.  Character traits that define me, titles that I hold, basically anything that would finish and “I am…” sentence.  This list included both positive and negative things.  Here’s a few of those highlights:

1. I am a mom, a sister, a daughter, and an almost wife.
2. I am compassionate.
3. I am a musician.
4. I am overly analytical.
5. I am messy.
6. I am a planner.
7. I am a multi-potentialite.
8. I am a procrastinator.

I looked at my two lists and I thought…why am I so frustrated?  What is actually making me feel like I’m unhappy?  Why on earth am I going through a quarter life crisis?  Being messy is NOT the end all be all reason my life feels really hard.

I decided that it’s because I’m going in the wrong direction.  It’s time to pivot. 

The dictionary defines “Pivot” as the central point on which a mechanism turns.

So early this week, I took my word of the day, pivot, and I applied to the University of Utah as a transfer student.  I’m not sure if I’ll get in, and I still have to wait for a couple of weeks to find out, but I already feel better.  Who knows if this is even the right direction, but at least it’s working towards something.

Did you go through a quarter life crisis? Are you going through one now?  Tell me all your tips. How did you survive it?  What did you do to feel secure again?