I’m in a few mommy facebook groups that are specifically for moms expecting a babies around the same time as I am. Some of the hot questions in those groups are all about baby showers and registries. I don’t know why this is such an issue, but moms are very concerned about what people are going to think about their choices surrounding a baby shower.
They’re asking questions like…
Are you having a shower even if no one is throwing you one?
Is anyone having a shower that this ISN’T their first baby?
Why would anyone have a shower for a second/third baby?
Are you doing a registry? What’s on it? Why are you doing a registry if this is your 3rd kid?
Oh. Em. Gee.
First of all, please just do whatever the F*$% you want. Second of all. You should ALWAYS have a registry. There will probably be things that you need to buy for every child (like bottles, diapers, clothings (maybe not as much) new car seats/travel systems, maybe a crib etc. Registries have so many perks too! Some have free stuff, completion discounts, percentage of cash back towards items you need etc. I know a lot of people also ask how they can help. A registry is a great place to send someone who want to contribute. Regardless of your shower plans, set up a registry!
As for the baby shower…You’ve got options.
- If it’s your first baby, it’s not unlikely you have someone in your life that would love to throw you a shower. Talk to your people and see if anyone is interested!
- If you don’t have anyone to throw you one, host your own! No shame im celebrating a new life with your friends and family!
- Have a “meet the baby” part after the baby is born. Lots of people want to meet your new baby and would love to shower them with gifts.
- If it’s not your first baby, you might not have someone jumping up and down to throw you a party, so again, if you want to do one, host your own, or talk to your people! If you don’t want to ask for gifts or don’t need much, ask people for diapers or other consumable items you’ll need that you don’t already have.
- Make it a potluck and forgo the gifts altogether. Invite your friends, celebrate the new baby, and forget about gifts.
- Have a sprinkle. Let people know exactly what you could use help with but make it clear that they shouldn’t go overboard.
But the point here, is that you should really just do whatever you want to do. This is your life, your baby, your family. You👏do 👏you. Forget about what people think. Ignore what’s taboo and what’s not and do what makes the most sense for you and your family. It breaks my heart to see so many women agonizing over what people will think about their decision. I love this Scary Mommy article that echos my sentiment.
Have the shower or don’t. Create the registry or don’t. But ultimately, whatever you do should be your choice regardless of what people will think of it.
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