Confidently Katie

Alternately titled: A Birth Story

On Wednesday July 30th afternoon I had a “squeeze in” appointment with my OB because I’d been scheduled for an induction for the 31st and she wanted to make sure it would be successful. Things weren’t looking too promising so she did a membrane sweep at my request and I was on my way.

Over the last week I’d been having lots of contractions, so it was no surprise that they continued throughout the rest of that day however now they were feeling a little more uncomfortable. I got home and started up some dinner and logged on for a Trivia Night thing at work and my contractions started to get more and more consistent. I even joked to my teammates that I might be in labor. I mostly tried to ignore it as I was trying to enjoy some of those last moments as a family of 3. We put the new baby’s car seat in the car, danced around the living room for a bit, and put Clara to bed. Thursday is also our trash day, so that night we were gathering the miscellaneous things that would need to go out and we put our cans on the street.

I stopped for a few minutes to snap this photo, even musing if it might be my last one with Carter on the inside.

Over the next several hours, my contracts became more and more painful. and were consistent and less than 5 minutes apart for the better part of two hours. When I realized I wouldn’t sleep, I called the on-call line to get their opinion and see I should come in. Luckily, it was my doctor I got to speak with and she recommended I head that way.

It took awhile for us to get out the door. I had to wake up Corey at 2 am (he usually would have been up, but decided to go to bed early that night), get our bags all together (Yeah…they weren’t exactly ready, I even ended up forgetting the diaper bag with all the baby’s stuff in it. Whoops!) and get Clara up and to my moms house. She was so cute and confused. She kept asking why she had to go and insisted we call grandma to ask her if it was okay if they had a sleepover.

Once we’d dropped of Clara with my mom, we headed to the hospital, which, lucky for me, wasn’t far away. When we got to labor and delivery, they got me all checked in and into a room. Once I was dressed in my hospital gown the nurse came and did a cervical check. She gave me bad news. “You’re still just a 1+ like when your doctor checked yesterday,” She said doubtfully. It was almost like she didn’t believe my contractions were as close together as they were. I felt so defeated. I’d felt so sure I would be further along. “How far away do you live?” she asked me, as if she was going to send me back home. “We can give you one hour or two, but if you don’t progress, you’ll have to go home.” um rude.

I chose two hours. I wasn’t about to go home. My contractions were significantly more painful that I’d remembered from Clara. They felt like fire radiating down my legs from my back. I swear they got worse the moment I laid in the hospital bed.

Corey settle in on the uncomfortable couch thing and rested while I made noises like a cow (Maybe more like a braying donkey) trying to manage the pain. I can hardly describe how bad it hurt. I was humming, singing songs, sitting up (BIG mistake…it felt so terrible to be sitting), laying back down, bracing on the hospital bed. After I felt like I just couldn’t take it anymore, probably about an hour after having checked in, I finally pressed the button for the nurse. Shifts had changed and the nurse who came in wasn’t assigned me to, but she checked me anyway. I don’t think I gave her much choice.

She checked me and said “Okay…so the reason these contractions are so intense is probably because you’ve gone from 1cm to 4 cm in an hour.” I said “Oh my god, can you give me the freaking epidural now!?” Probably a little rude. I hadn’t had an IV placed yet so she had to do that before she could call the Anesthesiologist. I honestly thought the IV poke and fidgeting to get it all placed would ease the pain of the contractions. It didn’t. I was screaming it actually sounded more like I was singing opera…very bad opera. But shortly thereafter, the IV placed and ll the consent forms signed, the Anesthesiologist placed my epidural. I started to feel the effects after about 5 minutes. It was heavenly relief.

Not long after, my doctor came in, we made a plan for her to break my water at a certain time if it hadn’t on its own, and she checked my cervix again. Here we discovered that Carter, like Clara had been, was sunny side up (aka his face was up which can cause labor to stall and cause complications with the delivery) so we put my legs on a peanut ball and I had to change positions every 45 minutes or so.

At this point it was around 5am. Only 3 hours had passed since I’d been checked in. After my water was broken at 6cm dilated, I progressed very quickly. I started feeling “the pressure” (ya know, like the kind that makes you want to push…) about an hour later. My doctor checked me again around 6:45am and I was fully dilated to 10cms and ready to go. It was honestly kind of nice because I was calm and it was quiet. No one but Corey and the medical staff were around…it was peaceful.

Around 7:00 we got me all ready to push. Nine big pushes and 20 minutes later, little Carter with his full head of hair was laying on my chest and I was crying like a baby. Cater was too.

Honestly, I thought that a pandemic birth would be more stressful. There were some pandemic pieces I left out (like my COVID test and how they almost wanted to swab me again) and the fact that through all of this I was wearing a mask (we were allowed to take off our masks when we were alone, but had to have them on when any medical personnel was in the room, which was almost always). But it truly was so calm. Nothing at all like my first birth where we had complications, a near miss with a C-Section, severe struggles with breastfeeding…you name it. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. And at the end of it all, we got our perfect little Carter David.

Over the past few weeks I, like countless others, have made a concentrated effort to better understand systemic racism, unconscious bias, microaggressions, and many other topics surrounding it. This effort has mostly been specific to the systemic oppression of Black people in America. I decided that in order for me to organize my thoughts, I need to write down some things that I’ve learned. Throughout this post I’ll use only the personal pronouns “I” and “me” because I can only speak for myself. I also feel it’s necessary to say that I’m not done learning. This is only the beginning, and I probably won’t get it right all the time, but I’m going to do my best, and then I’m going to do better.

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better

Maya Angelou

Racism is not new to me.

I knew about it before these protests and demonstrations. I saw Remember the Titans and read To Kill A Mockingbird. I learned about Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks in history class. There was a chapter heading about Brown V. Board of Education and Jim Crow laws in my 11th grade AP US History Textbook.

But it was a different time then! It’s not like that now, right? Segregation is illegal! It has been since the 60s. Sure, there are some outliers like real White Supremacists. But I’m not one of them, so I couldn’t possibly have any real work to do….

Right?

Wrong

This week, it became very clear to me that racism in America is alive. It’s alive for a lot of reasons, but if you ask me one of the most important reason is my ignorance. I thought that because I’m not overtly racist there just wasn’t much else I could do. But when I really started to reflect this week it was so obvious that there was plenty I could do to actively fight racism. That I must do to fight racism.

As I read articles, watched movies and documentaries, and followed dozens of Black influencers, creators, authors, and educators I found myself gasping over and over and again. I read stats that astounded me. I kept asking myself how this was even real. How could anyone ever have treated another human being this way in my parents lifetime?

Then I did what I had been avoiding. I watched the footage of George Floyd being knelt on until he suffocated then yanked onto a stretcher and suddenly what had seemed so far away, was right in front of me.

I don’t say all this to be consoled. If I have learned anything over the last week, it’s that no Black person or Person of Color owes me anything. It’s not their job to console me or help me understand this. It’s not their job to wake me up or help me while I work through this. It’s my job to seek to understand and quit making excuses for being quiet all this time.

I’m making a pledge now to stay awake. I’m keeping my eyes open. I will refuse to live in ignorance. I’ll read from diversified news sources and interact with people who don’t look like me. I will amplify black voices. I will speak up when I hear or see something that is racist or unjust.

I will pay attention to where I’m privileged. And I’m going to teach my kids about this. I’ll teach them about that time in my 20s when protests occurred across hundreds of cities around the entire world over the systemic racism in in the world today. (I tried to find exact number, but none of the articles I read provided any concrete number I feel comfortable sharing. This Vox article does provide some good information about what the global Black Lives Matter landscape looks like though.) I’ll tell them that even Ben and Jerry (you know, the ice cream guys) all but quit selling ice cream to help educate people on what is really going on here.

I want to be able to talk about 2020 as the year that everything changed.

Since I started writing this post last week confederate statues and monuments to the slave trade and been torn down. Use of the confederate battle flag is finally being widely accepted as a symbol of white supremacy. States that have it embedded in their flag are considering changing it. Positive pubic opinion and support of the Black Live Matter movement is skyrocketing. People on my friends list of who have literally never had opinions that align with mine are posting that Black Lives Matter. Police departments are actually getting defunded and deconstructed. Schools are severing their ties with enforcement offices. People are demanding change. We’re realizing that this isn’t a political or partisan issue. This is about people and their real, actual, existence on this earth and how they deserve to be here as much as anyone else. It’s about how Black Lives Matter.

This week on Wednesday April 22nd we’ll celebrated the 50th Earth Day. The first Earth Day took place on the same day in 1970 when millions of Americans across the country decided to take a stand against the mistreatment of our Planet. If you haven’t before, I’d highly recommend reading about the history of Earth Day. I found it quite interesting.

Now here’s the thing…I know that Climate Change is an extremely controversial topic. I’m aware that not everyone believes that Climate Crisis is a real thing. Earth Day might seem to you like a silly “holiday” much like International Pizza Day, but it’s much more than that. You don’t have to be an environmentalist or passionate about sustainability or whatever to celebrate and appreciate the amazing planet that we are so blessed to inhabit each day.

Because of COVID-19 a lot of the more organized events for Earth Day have been cancelled or postponed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t participate! As I’ve been ‘homeschooling’ Clara and I are taking this week to do a few Earth Centered Activities and learn about what it means to take care of the planet.

Here’s a few ways that you can make a difference this Earth Week:

*There’s are few affiliate links below that could earn me a small (and I mean SMALL) commissions should you make a purchase through them at now extra cost to you.*

1 // Take a walk around your neighborhood or a local trail and bring a trash bag. Pick up any stray trash you see and take it to a trash receptacle. Bonus points if you make it a habit to bring a trash bag with you on hikes or walks to do this on the regular. I was taught that if you pack it in, you pack it out! Never leave your trash when you picnic, hike, or camp! Always make a plan for your trash.

2 // Download one of those plant identifier apps and learn about all the plants around you. Clara and I took a walk today and I told her all about the tulips, daffodils, and irises, but that was all I knew! I’ll get an app for next time so we can appreciate it even more. Maybe it doesn’t help the planet, but if it gets you to connect with it a little more, I think that’s great.

3 // Get educated about the Three Rs: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Reducing Reusing, and Recycling are the foundation on which all other sustainability efforts rest. By reducing the number of things we consume and toss, reusing things throughout their whole life span, and recycling a the last resort, we’re minimizing our overall footprint on the Earth.

4 // Implement some sustainable practices at home. We started composting in the last few weeks, we’re in the process of replacing paper towels with flour sack towels, we switched to a sustainable Dropps laundry detergent (that link saves you $20 on your subscription month!), we have a Nest Thermostat that helps us save energy, we maintain our cars to keep them efficient and running as clean as possible, and we use a filtering water pitcher over bottled. NONE of these things were expense for us to do. In fact, some of these changes have saved us money.

5 // Support companies that have sustainable business practices. Did you know that large corporations contribute 70% of the world’s carbon emission? They are also the largest contributors to waste and water usage. By supporting companies that are zero waste, low waste, and/or contribute to offsetting their carbon footprint, we’re encouraging them and discouraging those that refuse to do the same. Of course that’s not all there is to it, but it helps!

Honestly, I could go on and on…and I probably will throughout the rest of the week.

I hope that you and your families take this time to appreciate our planet and consider some things you can do that make it more beautiful and healthy place to live.

Picture this: Mid October…2019. Fall. Sweater seasons. Chai and pumpkin spice everything…It’s time to kick off THE season you wait for all year long. “The Holidays.”

It all started with Halloween and the pumpkin patches. You planned your yearly outing with all your people. You took the kids to the slides and the hay rides and all the crazy feed tubs filled with corn kernels. You make the chili and do the trick-or-treating and the trunk-or-treating and the family costume for Instagram. It’s a great time. You love spending that time with your friends and family and making memories that you’ll all have for years to come.

Then a few weeks later we’re approaching Thanksgiving. You cleaned your whole house to host your first Thanksgiving (Or maybe a Friendsgiving). You learned to make a new pie or roasted the turkey for the first time. You created a beautiful tablescape or you helped your mom and grandma make all those traditional dishes. Everyone got together and ate more food than anyone ever needed to in one sitting. No one even had room for that new pie you baked. But it was so great that you got to see your cousins. It’s been a while. And after you played some games and all the kids got to terrorize together. It was great, but it was a lot.

One day later…it’s Black Friday and the Christmas hustle begins (if you didn’t start it sooner, which let’s be honest, a lot of us did.) The tree is up, you’re making Christmas Cookies, you’re moving that damn Elf all over the house. In a span of a few weeks you’ve been to the store 15+ times. Most of your free time is being spent on Amazon searching for that one thing your child wants that you can’t find anywhere. You’ve committed to two work parties, three family parties, and several gift exchanges. Oh yeah, and it’s not even the big day yet! Repeat that holiday dinner hustle from above.

But then…This thing happen. This horrible and easily transmitted virus starts to spread across China. And then Europe. And then the United States. The strangest things are being required of us. We’re told to go home and stay there. Concerts are cancelled and hair salons have to close. Thousands upon thousands of people are laid off or can’t operate their businesses. All of our kids are at home while we work at the kitchen table, in a living room, in the corning or a playroom, anywhere but our usual desk at work. The only people who are just living life as “normal” are those who are considered “essential” to keep our world turning, and even those folks may have been laid off or fallen ill.

All the hustle and gathering and shopping from just a couple months earlier seems as if it’s in the very distant past. Everything just…stops. Life as we know it is shifts. Our priorities change. We get more creative. We’re creating crazy chalk murals in our backyards and down our driveways We’re letting our kids watch unlimited TV because #workfromhomewithkidslyfe. We’re trying to homeschool and also figure out how to get them human interaction safely. We’re looking for trails and open public spaces because we don’t want to get a $1000 fine or COVID-19 but we also don’t want to be in our houses for one.more.second. All that crazy gathering from the Holidays season…It’s just feels weird all of a sudden. That pie that no one ate doesn’t feel as important. The tablescape you pinned 203948 inspiration photos for seems like it was created 10 years ago. And all that shopping and touching literally anything in the store? It feels really, really disgusting. Why weren’t we washing our hands more?

To me COVID-19 has been a wake up call. It’s has created space in my brain to really think about what’s important to me. Is it pies or is it people? Is it the damn Elf on the Shelf or is it watching the Grinch with my daughter for the 100th time…In November. Was all that overscheduling worth it? Was the exhaustion of trying to please everyone (including myself) worth the pay out? I don’t know…But this whole thing is definitely giving me some time to evaluate that. I’m realizing that life is precious. Time together as a family is important. Human interaction is necessary. Feeling involved in the world is essential. But maybe pumpkin patch photos for the ‘gram can wait.

I know that a lot of people have made it a goal to read more while there really isn’t much else to do…because you know, global pandemics. I also know that people often make it a goal to read more, but really struggle with where to start, they read a thousand and one reviews, read the backs of lot of books, and still don’t know what to read.

Well, I’m here to help!

At the start of 2020 I set a goal to read more and so far, I’m doing great! We’re a quarter of the way through the year and I’ve read 5 books! I know! I’m surprised too! I’d love to share what I’ve read this year and what I liked and didn’t like about them.

First of all, I know that I always wonder these things about people who are reading a lot of books in short time frames, so I’m going to get these things out of the way. Then buckle in for probably too much information about the books I’ve read so far in 2020.

1// How are you reading? I’m reading in both audiobook and Kindle e-book format. I have a Kindle Fire…8? and I really like reading on it. I like how easy it is to hold in one hand and I also like to read with the lights off, so I like the electronic format.

2// What app are you using to read audiobooks? I have been using Scrib’d. I like it because the subscription includes the books. It doesn’t have everything in the world, but it has a lot! I’ve been able to read several books using it that were recently published, best sellers etc. It’s $10 and so far, worth it. If you sign up use this link! It gets you 60 days free!

3// What genre are you reading? My tastes are varied. I think that if you read through my short summaries and reviews you’ll be able to tell what I’m into!

Now…For the books!

As a heads up, the links to the books are affiliate links. If you choose to purchase one of these books after clicking on my link I earn a very small commision at no extra cost to you. See my disclosure for more information! 

1// Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

Dark Places is about a woman who is the only survivor of a horrific murder that her brother is currently serving life in prison for. She stumbles upon a group attempting to determine what really happened and is surprised to find that many of these people don’t believe her brother committed this crime.

The story is told in split perspective switching between Libby (the protagonist), her mother, and her supposedly murderous brother. The mother and brother’s perspectives told the story of what really happened a little at a time until of course, the full truth is revealed at the end.

Likes: The ending was difficult to guess. I had some ideas about “whodunit” and was engaged throughout the story and definitely want to learn what had really happened.

Dislikes: Libby wasn’t a very strong character. She was just a vehicle to further the plot if you ask me. There were also many very grotesque scenes detailing disgusting devil worshiping practices that I had a hard time with. If I hadn’t been reading in audio format while I washed dishes most night I might not have gotten through those parts to learn the ending.

Overall rating: 3/5 stars

2// An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

An American Marriage is about a newly married black couple who faces an impossible challenge when Roy is wrongfully convicted and imprisoned for a crime he did not commit. His young wife Celestial is forced to figure out how to be married to a man in prison while Roy learns to survive where he’s at and works to clear his name. 5 years later, his conviction is overturned and he and Celestial have to face the lives they’re living in all those years later.

This story is told in a split perspective. It’s mostly split between Roy and Celestial, describing their day to day lives and their differing perspectives and the situation at hand. There’s also a third player, Celestial’s best friend that we hear from for a few chapters.

Likes: I really enjoyed reading this book. It wasn’t extremely exciting but had some very interesting characters. It also really made me think about how horrible and racist our justice system can be for so many. I liked that while it was a fictional story, I thought a lot of the real world version that is out there somewhere and considered how I can be a better ally.

Dislikes: I didn’t love Celestial’s character. I know that she was faced with some pretty challenging things, especially early in her marriage but I just didn’t find her likeable. I tried to give her grace but still found myself repeatedly frustrated with her.

Overall rating: 4/5 stars

3// Ask Again Yes by Mary Beth Keane

Okay…I didn’t finish this one. I’m about 1/3rd…maybe a bit further into it and I just got bored. I do think I’ll come back to it and finish it eventually but I just had to put it down. I’ll come back here and update when I actually do get through it.

I will say though, this one is quite popular and a few friends have read it and loved it!

4// Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

Outlander is told in the first person perspective of Claire Randall (Beauchamp). While “honeymooning” in the Scottish Highlands shortly after the end of WWII Claire travels through the stones at Craig n’dun and finds herself still in Scottland but 200 years before her own time. She is quickly pulled into the conflicts of the era and is dragged away from the stones, leaving her to far away to simply return home on her own.

While evading the many hazards of the time period and one particularly bad actor she finds a companion in Young Jamie Fraser. The first book in the series tells the story of how Claire finds her place in the new time amidst the Jacobite rebellion that is surfacing.

Likes: If you’ve seen the TV show the book is extremely close. Lots of dialogue from the show is taken straight from the books. Of course like anything adapted for the screen, things move a bit slower in the book, but I liked it. I enjoyed how the story was told and didn’t mind the differences (I read the book after watching season 1) I also liked that while some of the subject matter was dark, it was a generally light read that didn’t require a lot of thinking or unraveling of the story.

Dislikes: I didn’t require a lot of thinking or unraveling of the story.

Overall rating: 4/5 stars (mostly just because I liked it. Comparatively the rating could be lower)

4// The Silent Patient by Alexander Michaelides

The Silent patient is an artist named Alicia who is committed to a psychiatric facility for murdering her husband then later refusing to speak. Here she meets Theo, a young psycho-therapist who is eager to help her. The story is told in a split perspective between Theo and Alicia.

I won’t say much more because it’s a psychological thriller that has several twists and turns. I’d hate to give anything away.

Likes: It was an interesting story with characters who had quite a lot of depth. I really enjoyed reading it from start to finish. I was never bored and always found myself captivated by the thought of what might come next.

Dislikes: I guessed the ending quite early. I can’t help but try and dig in and in this case, I had mostly had the mystery cracked about halfway, and would say I’d completely figured it out a few chapters for a big twist. I almost felt like someone spoiled it for me.

Overall rating: 4/5

Last week was possibly the longest week ever. A combination of a sudden earthquake, staying home, working with kids in the house, and just the complete exhaustion from reading COVID-19 news really made it feel like a long week. Personally I would say the weekend was better. We caught church on live stream, I did some work on my garden, reviewed our home inventory, washed the sheets…Basically had a normal weekend. What I noticed, was that I felt a lot better when I was busy.

I know a lot of people are making “Quarantine Goals” and such, which I think is great. I love a fresh start just as much as the next person, but for some reason, a quarantine goal feels weird. I’m struggling to put my finger on why, but it just does.

Instead, I’m trying to just carry on like I normally would, but I’m staying home. However, I thought I could use this wake-up-call type of moment we’re having to take a look at the goals that I set in January and recenter myself on them.

My 2020 goals were to…

1. Eat dinner at the table.
2. Read.
3. Work on my house projects.
4. Invest more time in relationships with our friends and family.
5. Write more.

So far, I’d say I’m actually doing really well with all of those goals…Maybe except eating at the dinner table, we could do better at that, but pretty much everything else, I’m cruising.

• I’ve finished four books. One I didn’t finish and one I’m still calling “in-progress) A full post to come about what I’ve read, what I’m reading, and what’s up next
• I’ve started some work on my house projects. Certainly not a lot of work on them, but some.
• I am almost being forced to spend time more time with my family whether I like that or not! Don’t worry, corey…I like it 😉
• And clearly, I’m writing more. I don’t think I expected so much of the contents of my writing to be about a pandemic, earthquakes, and anxiety, but here we are.

This year, the goals I set were themed around connections. Connections with other, with myself, and with the world around me. It has been hard even for only a few days to feel less connected, but I’m working on ways that I can continually recenter and stay focused on the road ahead and the goals I set for this year.

How are you staying centered?

Pandemics man…amiright?

Okay, so literally no one knew what to expect. Well except for China and Italy who were experiencing this weeks and weeks ahead of us who we could have been learning from and avoid their mistakes. But hey…That’s not what this post is about.

It is true that as an individual, I didn’t know what it would be like to be confined to my home. It’s true that I do still have some choice in the matter. I can leave my home but I’m choosing to be as socially responsible as possible and do so as little as I can. I’ve also worked from home before, for quite some time in fact, but previously I didn’t have a child at home the entire time that actually requires quite a lot of attention. Turns out that even TV and tablets get boring.

That said, I’m still figuring things out. It hasn’t been all bad though. Today I’m focusing on what’s working for us. The good parts. The good parts of social distance and ways that we’re coping on a day to day basis.

1// Cosmic Kids Yoga. A friend posted her three year old doing this and I figured I’d give it a try. The kids loved it and begged to do it again the next day. She does themed yoga that is very age appropriate for kids probably 3-10ish. It’s all modified for kids and the themes are adorable. It is also just about the right length.

2// Crafts…Guys. I love crafts, but they are very hard to do during the day while I’m trying to work. So my mom got me a bunch of construction paper, glue, pipe cleaners etc. and the kids are having a great time doing lightly structured art projects.

3// Family time…We’ve had a lot of quality time together. The other day Clara just jumped into the bed next to Corey with a book and they just sat and read the lion king at some random point in the day. It was adorable and probably wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

4// Baby number 2. I had my Fetal Wellbeing Scan last week. It showed that he is definitely still a he, he is perfectly proportionate and there are no obvious abnormalities. He’s adorable and we can’t wait to meet him.

5// Virtual Gatherings. We do it for work, but now we’re also doing it for interaction. The other day the kids hopped on Zoom at the end of the night after the earthquake and they loved seeing their cousins on the computer screen and chatting about their days.

There’s a lot more too…like the fact that I have the ability to work from home and wonderful, understanding co-workers than can deal with the TV in the background. I feel incredibly blessed as a lot of people don’t have that luxury and are losing their jobs at this time. It’s also very encouraging to see so many companies offering their normally paid services for free and Disney releasing the new Pixar movie, Onward, early on Disney+ (can’t wait to have a movie night and watch with Clara!)

In all this dark and scary. There is light…The best part might be that we have the best excuse in the world to stay home. And please if you can...just stay home.

This is weird. We’re still figuring things out. I hope that by the time we get really used to it, it’s all over. I hope we can also learn from it and really hold onto these things that are bringing us joy right now.

I left the house today. It was the first day I’d left the house in four days. I had a doctor’s appointment so I had to take Clara to my mom’s and walk into a hospital. It didn’t feel real.

As I walked in, they “screened” me by asking if I’d been out of the country or had any symptoms (cough, fever, shortness of breath) or around anyone who had them. I said no and proceeded to my appointment on the next floor. This screening was poor. I sanitized my hands, pushed the elevator buttons with my elbow and rode up to the next floor. There were signs all over that indicated only one visitor was allowed. Corey didn’t come because he’s getting over a cold (not the Coronavirus based on his symptoms) and was worried he would get kicked out.

It was eerily quiet. Normally the OBGYN and Midwife floor is bustling with patients. There are usually at least 15-20 people in the waiting area. Today there were 5 including me. There were plans and random floor decor items on chairs so that people couldn’t sit by each other.

I was very anxious. We had to take my blood pressure twice because the first time it was sky high. The second time around I had to imagine myself on the beach front balcony from the hotel on our Honeymoon to relax enough to get into normal range. This was the first time I’d even seen someone who wasn’t in my family or on a computer screen in four days, so naturally I felt strange.

And it’s only been four days.

***

On Wednesday an 5.7 magnitude earthquake shook our house at around 7:00am. The biggest earthquake Utah has experienced in 27 years. The rest of the day was spent talking with family and monitoring seismic activity. I worked too, but let’s be real, it was basically a lost day. I’m still having a hard time believing that it happened.

Luckily this isn’t really part of the new normal, but I just keep thinking…how is this all real. We’re in a global pandemic and we’re going to have an earthquake?

I just…I don’t know. I’m mostly just writing this to write it. I feel like these are things we need to remember. I want to remember how we felt and what this was all like…so here it is, not really organized or pretty, but real.

I wrote a bit about what I’ve learned from COVID-19 last week, and since then the state of the situation has escalated and I feel like I have to write more. I’m not going to re-explain what the virus is, but if you want a good overview, head over to that post. I shared lots of links from WHO and the CDC regarding the virus etc.

Today Governor Herbert addressed the state of Utah along with other state authorities, local health care CEO, an epidemiologist, local university representatives etc. on what measures our state is taking to prevent the spread of COVID-19. I watched most of it this afternoon and read more about it later. Here are the highlights:

• Social gatherings should be limited to 100 people or less including church but not school
• If you are in the “at-risk” population they recommended gatherings of no more than 25 people
• Local universities have changed all classes to online
• Salt Lake County parks and rec are closed through the end of March (I predict they will stay closed longer)
• One school district (a smaller one) closed due to students and faculty having contact with the virus
• The governor recommended having at least a 14 day food supply but urged people not to over-do it and not to buy bottled water if you don’t need it
• They all urged social distancing! The epidemiologist shared some great info about what is still allowed (and encouraged) during social distancing
• If you have the capacity to work from home, they recommended that you do so

There’s more, but that the big stuff. Things escalated rather quickly. After two Jazz players were diagnosed yesterday (which what the HIPAA?! Who said that they could disclose their private health information?!) people started to realize that this is a real thing.

So what have I learned from this?

1// It was smart for me to be a little bit more cautious in the earlier stages of the virus. I have been stocking up on random things for weeks. I did my big grocery shopping last week, inventoried my household items, etc. I am so glad I did that.

2// People do not know how to handle preparation for a disaster. I went to Winco today as well as Smith’s (Kroger store) and folks were buying…the craziest thing. I saw people with like 5 bags of dried beans in their carts. More oatmeal than they could ever eat, cases upon cases of soda…Just weird stuff ya’ll. My friend Liz has a great list of stuff you could actually use for a quarantine situation. I wouldn’t buy all of this stuff, but certainly some!

3// Self quarantine, social distancing, closed parks and rec… these are good things. I have seen this article and graphic about “Flattening the Curve” a few times and I feel like it really explains why these things are important far better than I ever could. But the basic gist is that we need to delay the spread so that we can space out cases, reduce the number of cases at the peak, and allow for time for treatments to be developed, tests to be available, and beds to free up in hospitals.

4// Avoiding getting COVID-19 is socially responsible. I have medically fragile family members. My sisters and my dad are all diabetic and have other complications with their conditions. Catching this virus will more than likely put them in the hospital, and it would likely be a death sentence for my dad. Possibly all three of them. So I’m going to do my part not to get the virus so that I can remain healthy and able to help them when they need it because they need my social distancing even more than I do.

5// Clearing shelves and over-buying is NOT responsible. Folks…You never would have used that amount of TP in a month or two. Not just that, but there are so many other options to wipe your damn ass than TP! But it’s not just about TP. It’s also about the parents who are without wipes because you bought them all. Or who don’t have diapers because you bought enough to get them through potty training in 2 years. Unless you plan to give those away or sell them at cost or less, you suck. Don’t over-buy!

6// If we all lived more sustainable lifestyles this wouldn’t be such a big deal. I can’t believe the number of paper towels I’m seeing in carts. Why do you NEED paper towels? I have about 20 hand towels and 12 cloth napkins. Done. No paper towels needed. Why do you need 4 cases of bottled water? Get a filtering pitcher (or a huge jug or something) It is breaking my heart to see so many people buying water bottles, especially when the governor stated that our water supply is NOT at risk. Using a menstrual cup means I don’t need tampons. Only washing my hair once a week means my shampoo lasts a long time. Living more sustainably has really put me at an advantage and I wish more people were doing it.

7// You probably have about 14 days worth of stuff in your pantry right now without going to the store. My mom is on a cruise (yeah I know scary) and she texted me and asked me to take care of her prep. Instead of rushing off to the store and buying all the stuff she told me to, I went to her house and I took inventory. She has enough staples to last her probably 2 or 3 MONTHS! She thought that she had nothing. Please, don’t just run to the store. Check your pantry, check your deep freeze, go through you fridge. Don’t go buy 30+ days of food without seeing what you have first!

I could probably go on, but I won’t. Instead, I’m going to say my prayers, go to bed, and hopefully wake up to a better day tomorrow.

Happy prepping America.

I’m in a few mommy facebook groups that are specifically for moms expecting a babies around the same time as I am. Some of the hot questions in those groups are all about baby showers and registries. I don’t know why this is such an issue, but moms are very concerned about what people are going to think about their choices surrounding a baby shower.

They’re asking questions like…

Are you having a shower even if no one is throwing you one?

Is anyone having a shower that this ISN’T their first baby?

Why would anyone have a shower for a second/third baby?

Are you doing a registry? What’s on it? Why are you doing a registry if this is your 3rd kid?

Oh. Em. Gee.

First of all, please just do whatever the F*$% you want. Second of all. You should ALWAYS have a registry. There will probably be things that you need to buy for every child (like bottles, diapers, clothings (maybe not as much) new car seats/travel systems, maybe a crib etc. Registries have so many perks too! Some have free stuff, completion discounts, percentage of cash back towards items you need etc. I know a lot of people also ask how they can help. A registry is a great place to send someone who want to contribute. Regardless of your shower plans, set up a registry!

As for the baby shower…You’ve got options.

• If it’s your first baby, it’s not unlikely you have someone in your life that would love to throw you a shower. Talk to your people and see if anyone is interested!
• If you don’t have anyone to throw you one, host your own! No shame im celebrating a new life with your friends and family!
• Have a “meet the baby” part after the baby is born. Lots of people want to meet your new baby and would love to shower them with gifts.
• If it’s not your first baby, you might not have someone jumping up and down to throw you a party, so again, if you want to do one, host your own, or talk to your people! If you don’t want to ask for gifts or don’t need much, ask people for diapers or other consumable items you’ll need that you don’t already have.
• Make it a potluck and forgo the gifts altogether. Invite your friends, celebrate the new baby, and forget about gifts.
• Have a sprinkle. Let people know exactly what you could use help with but make it clear that they shouldn’t go overboard.

But the point here, is that you should really just do whatever you want to do. This is your life, your baby, your family. You👏do 👏you. Forget about what people think. Ignore what’s taboo and what’s not and do what makes the most sense for you and your family. It breaks my heart to see so many women agonizing over what people will think about their decision. I love this Scary Mommy article that echos my sentiment.

Have the shower or don’t. Create the registry or don’t. But ultimately, whatever you do should be your choice regardless of what people will think of it.